KM Patch

Spice up your outfit and your life by letting the world know that we’re friends. Look… I’m not gonna lie, T-Mobile and a few utility companies might run up on you fam. I’m doing ok financially… but not like "clean up my credit" levels. That is a whole other tax bracket. I’m still wild El Poor-0, hence me selling patches and toilet seat covers and whatever else for some change.

WARNING: I’ve also made a few jokes people take personally, so I’d rock this on whatever article of clothing you tuck hammers in. Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready.

This patch endows the owner with the ability to make up words, have award-winning confidence, and turn any engagement into an open bar event. Look at the pictures… them fellers ain’t me, but look at em. Fockers are ready to take on the world yo. You’re probably thinking "but Kane Mayfield… arent those just stock photos" naah sun. Both those gentlemen had to come kick it with me for a full 72hs and get drunk and freestyle rap. Made em shoplift and listen to mad Wu-Tang instrumentals. They ready for war. You will be ready… watch your significant other be like "Oh my… your so different" and start making your breffis with OD love and appreciation just by adding an eye-catching embroidered patch.

Thanks to its durable twillington fabric, the patch is resilient to heat.. except for the one you carry because as i stated earlier you may have to run a fade upon request because I said they mom had a wooden leg or whatever. Order it today and get ready to start living the life you deserve… every day will be like Caligulas birthday party, or one of George Cloony’s Bro-fests GUARANTEED!

• 26% cotton, 74% polyester 100% awesome

• Attachment options: iron-on, sew-on, or tell your butler to do it. Because you bought this and that means you are balling out of control. What.. he’s busy… tell em your patch wont sew it self then sip some Don P you big boss hog millionaire.

• Blank product sourced from whichever place is wild enticing to you. Like Borneo. Thats fly. You ever been there. EXACTLY. Tell people you copped this in Borneo at the Wisma Jaya mall. They’ll be like "when’d you go there" and then you look at they shoes and be like "when I’m not slumming it" and walk away briskly. That is Reality Show star confidence homie. They’ll be like "DAMN you must be doing the schmoney dance nightly" and then you give em that smile… and give em the finger cause you’re punk rock.